Tia’s “Summer Witch” Boudoir Session by Virago Boudoir Photography, Asheville, NC, Hair and Makeup by Brushfire Artistry

I am so lucky to work with Tia of Brushfire Artistry all the time as she does hair and makeup for most of my boudoir babes. The hair and makeup she does is gorgeous. But what is most special about working with her is how magical she is at building up every person who sits in her makeup chair. She always seems to get right to the root of people and then lift them up. She will shower you with compliments (that she truly means) and real-talk, and by the time you’re done, you’ll feel that there was never any doubt that you are worth celebrating yourself.

So, of course, occasionally I want to turn the mirror back towards her and show her how beautiful she is and how she is also worthy of celebrating. I had this idea in my head of doing a “Summer Witch” themed boudoir, and Tia was perfect for it. I jokingly told her to bring a large raven…and she did. His name is now Simon. But the theme isn’t even important. The beautiful human is. And how she feels. Because at the end of the day, that’s why I do boudoir: to show women how worthy and beautiful and brave they are. And there’s nobody better to tell you about that than Tia herself:

From Tia:

“I’m a firm believer in putting your money where your mouth is. I’m a firm believer that one single experience can alter your mind, your path...your life. I’m a firm believer that ALL women should do boudoir. That’s such a hefty statement, but I stand beside it with my whole heart. About three years ago, I was a newish mom. I was prepared for sleepless nights and lots of uphill battles, but I think the one thing that I wasn’t prepared for was catching a glimpse of the stranger in my reflection. Who is that tired, worn out person living in my mirror? Why don’t I feel even slightly attached to the skin that holds me together. Why do I feel so...disconnected?

I’ve yet to meet a mother who didn’t experience some kind of identity crisis after becoming a mom. Not a single one. Which tells me that the experience that is motherhood, changes the shit out of you. It took more out of my energy to try and fight those feelings, then I could ever tell you. Inadequacy. Fear. Loss. Watching my once taught skin, leak away from my bones. Seeing dark circles and exhaustion replace what seemed like an endless supply of energy. Don’t get me wrong, motherhood (and all of its less than sexy parts) is amazing. There’s nothing else in the world like it...but, that’s not the point of this conversation. It took me far too long to come to terms with accepting both the perpetual joy, and the perpetual longing for self identity that come after you become a mother. Here’s the real point...

YOU NEED NEW EYES.

Yep, you read that right. It’s overstated that we are our own worst enemy. We’ve all heard it, and maybe you differ from me in your ability to change your vision...but I couldn’t. I couldn’t, no matter how I tried, to see myself in any kind of beauty. I needed new eyes. And a couple of weeks ago, thanks to my friend, Sarah, I got them.

I’ve been in front of the camera more than most people, but I can tell you...it’s still really damn hard to muster up the balls to bare it. Live it and love it and werk it. After the birth of my son, I let my body take its natural journey back to “no longer a giant pregnant sea mammal”. But the journey took longer than I expected. Once it made it back, it still wasn’t the same. Things were droopier, flabbier...just not the same. I questioned if I would ever feel at home in my body. Add on some postpartum depression, and I got down to less than a hundred pounds. Just to recap: healthy 26 year old, healthy pregnant 26 year old that gained 70 pounds while pregnant, healthy 27 year old new mom, (unknowingly) depressed 28 year old mom. That’s a giant cycle of massive change. Looking back, I wish I had been more compassionate with her.

So now we are here. I’ve overcome a massive amount of misinformation and skewed vision. But I wouldn’t be here if not for the choice to borrow the eyes of someone who still sees beauty. It’s the hardest thing to do, to choose to let someone else see you. And not just see you, but see you in the Everest of your fear and self doubt...all naked (if you wanna be) and beautiful. What was different about this shoot for me? What separates it from the ones before it? 1. This time, I asked to muse. Because I knew I needed it. I knew I needed a different perspective. I got comfortable in a sick body. In a hundred pound mirage of health. I got sucked into hearing the compliments about how thin I was and how great people thought I looked. I was swindled into believing that I was meant to be that thin if I wanted to be beautiful. Y’all, can we please cut the crap!? I’ve found my way back to an actual healthy body. With good therapy and better friends, I’m thriving. I’m up to 115lbs. Which hilariously feels like too much. But that’s what all this talking is for. YOU HAVE TO STOP LISTENING TO HEAR. YOU HAVE TO SHUT DOWN THE BULLSHIT THAT WE’VE ALL BEEN FED. “Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels”, “stomach rolls aren’t a thing healthy people have”, “I’m not attractive if I don’t look like every blonde 18 year old model on the gram”.

Boo, let me just tell you that there are so many things that feel better than skinny. And I am here for every. damn. one. Let me also tell you that there’s not a single thing in the world sexier than a woman who goes out and finds her sexy for her damn self. A woman who refuses to loathe a body for things it isn’t (and shouldn’t be), and instead learns to love it for all that it is.

Boudoir has changed my life. Forever. I was gifted a new pair of eyes. Eyes that see so many things I couldn’t on my own. Eyes that undo years and years of fear and misinformation. Eyes that focus on the many things that make me a beautiful human. It’s all curves and no brakes over here, y’all. And I hope that you’ll be inspired to just entertain that these are truths for all women. Especially for you. Yes, you. The woman mad at the baby weight. The woman who hasn’t showered in a week. The woman with nat geo worthy mom boobs. The woman with the thigh gap and the woman who’s thighs love each other so much, they can’t stop touching. The woman with no time. The woman with no motivation. The woman with fear. All you need is just one moment of “okay”. One moment of “I’ve got this”. One moment of “I need this”. I’m telling you, you do. You do need this shit. You will never, ever be sorry you did. “