I have a confession; I am a boudoir photographer who had never done a boudoir session. I’ve done boudoir selfies, but I have never gone through the whole process of getting my hair and makeup done, choosing a bunch of outfits, and most importantly, trusting another human being to take my photo and show me what I looked like through their eyes. So when Brandi of Unbound Images asked me to do her boudoir session, I suggested that we do a trade instead! I photographed her, and then she photographed me.

Before my session, I struggled a lot with feeling that I needed to change my body. To lose weight and work out a ton. But that kind of thinking is backwards. You don’t reach some only-in-your-head peak fitness and THEN love yourself.

You love yourself first.

Then, no matter where you go from there, you carry that with you. So, instead of dieting, I ate a nice full Bojangles meal the day before my session, and I don’t think any less biscuits would have made me love my images more.

The day of my session, I finally got to do something I’ve dreamed of! I had my hair and makeup done by Tia of Brushfire Artistry! And, y’all, Tia is a magician. I still looked like myself when she was done, but I couldn’t stop staring at my face. I had trouble driving to my session, because I could not quit glancing at the gorgeous babe in the rearview mirror. Plus, Tia spent the entire time building me up and telling me how beautiful I am. I left knowing that I am a badass tiger goddess and so ready for my session.

When I got to Brandi’s studio, I very much wanted the wine she offered. Some of the nerves had crept back in. I always tell my clients that the things that make us most nervous are usually the ones most worth doing, so I tried to take my own advice. I was pumped up on Bojangles, Tia compliments, two packs of hair extensions on my head, and there wouldn’t be a better moment than now to do a boudoir session.

If you’ve never had someone fix your wedgie for you, then you don’t truly know what vulnerability is. Being vulnerable and not in control of the session was the hardest part for me. You are laying down, in lingerie that you’ve only worn once in a dressing room, in a pose that you are sure looks crazy, and hoping that somehow the images are looking good. This is why it’s really important to work with a great boudoir photographer. I was not always 100% confident with myself as the subject, but I was totally confident in Brandi.

And I’m so glad I trusted her with my first boudoir session. When I saw the images, I cried. It was me, very much me, but through Brandi’s eyes. She found a way to show me the my own beauty. In the mirror I can focus on my “flaws,” but in these images,

I’m forced to confront the beautiful parts of myself.

I even found myself thinking good thoughts about my adorable tummy, sexy big thighs, and tiger stripe stretch marks. Before the session, I thought I would only see the flaws. But not only am I not focused on them, I don’t even see them as flaws now.

I want my clients to get the most out of their boudoir session, and that’s why it was so important for me to do one myself. It’s one thing to say every woman should do a session, but it’s another to know at your core, how true that is. I’ve felt the impact of seeing myself through a boudoir photographer’s lens, and it has changed my life for the better. Hating yourself takes too much energy, and us badass babes don’t have time for that.